I did not have “Bella Thorne proposal controversy” on my 2025 bingo card. Though given the chaotic state of the world, I probably should have.
On Sunday, Aug. 17, Bella Throne shared an Instagram post showing her proposal to fiancé Mark Emms. The sweet post, captioned “3 years ago we met, 1 year later he proposed, now 1 year later so did I,” was meant to celebrate the one year anniversary of their engagement and Mark’s original proposal. Instead, it quickly devolved into a debate about gender roles in the comments.
“Okay ladies, let’s not normalize this, okay?” reads a top comment—it currently has 93, 847 likes. Another asks, “If he already proposed why did you do it lol I’m confused.” More critics flocked to the comments, adding in confused emojis and GIFs, prompting debates among fans.
Things got so chaotic, Bella herself addressed the discourse in a since-deleted Instagram Story. “The comments on my post are hilarious,” she wrote, per E! News. “Totally split down the middle. Half of you are like let’s not normalize proposing to your partner—other half is like f–k yeah girl power this is the sweetest!!”
While I’m glad Bella isn’t letting the negativity in her comments affect her happiness, there is a dark side to the criticisms that can’t be ignored. This isn’t just a case of trolls hating on Bella for the fun of it, it’s sexism.
When people criticize Bella’s decision to propose, they’re implying that she shouldn’t have done it because that’s not her role as a woman. Her actions, then, threaten the gender binary they seem to hold so dear. This “controversy” isn’t about Bella, it’s about gender roles within the patriarchy—most posters are just good at hiding it. One commenter, however, said the quiet part out loud, writing, “Men don’t need more encouragement to be more energetically feminine than they already are.”
It’s hard not to see these criticisms as related to growing transphobia and backlash to LGBTQ+ rights, as well as the rise of trad wife content—Nara Smith cooking videos, the Princess Treatment trend, etc.—all of which promotes traditional gender roles. Not only that, but the brazenness of these critiques—why are we posting this on former child star Bella Thorne’s Instagram?—points to a growing conservative slant in American culture and media that allows people to feel comfortable spouting these views on a stranger’s Instagram post.
This might seem like harmless Instagram drama, but assuming these commenters are serious in their beliefs, it’s actually a pretty dark indicator of where we are right now, and where we might be headed.
