It should come as literally zero surprise that we here at Cosmo are *always* on the hunt for ways to maximize oral pleasure for vulvas. And today, friends, is no exception. Just when we thought we knew absolutely everything about the oral sex game, we’ve uncovered a new, downright golden cunnilingus technique to up the ante even more. And yes, obviously we’re gonna share it with you. Allow us to introduce the Kivin method.
In the simplest of terms, the Kivin method is basically sidewise oral for vulvas, hence why board-certified sex educator, Linnea Marie, a sexpert at BedBible.com, says this method is actually more of an oral sex position, rather than a full-on technique. “It is another approach to cunnilingus, involving the giver lying perpendicular to the receiver, allowing oral stimulation to the clitoris and vulva from a side angle,” she explains. In this position, the giver works their tongue side-to-side across the vulva/clitoris, rather than up and down.
While it’s unclear where exactly the name or technique originates, the Kivin method is no joke. Anecdotally, people reported that this method can give vulva-owners orgasms in record time. Suffice to say: It can be very effective.
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“Many who have experienced this say that the angle of the giver’s body increases the sensations and results in more powerful orgasms,”says psychologist Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate. “This is likely because the clitoris gets stimulated in a side-to-side rather than an up-and-down motion.” Super fast, reliable orgasms? Sign us up!
Now, before we continue, a bit of a disclaimer: We’d be remiss if we didn’t say that, just like every other sex technique or position out there, not everyone will love Kivin method oral. Every single vulva is different and responds to different things. Pleasure is the measure when it comes to sex—not trying to master all the different “kinds” of orgasms you can supposedly have. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm, and there’s no right or wrong (or better or worse) way to have one.
That said, we’re always game for a bit of experimenting. Sometimes finding the perfect oral sex method for your body takes a bit of practice—which is very okay! The Kivin method may help. And even if you and your partner(s) have mastered the art of going down, flipping things on the side could still unlock a whole new world of oral pleasure.
If you’re interested in giving the Kivin method a go, we have everything you need to know right here. Let’s get into it.
How Does the Kivin Method Work?
The Kivin method is all about the position of the body. Erotic educator Taylor Sparks, founder of Organic Loven, calls it, “cunnilingus with a side view.”
It may sound a bit odd, but Mintz says it’s actually pretty straightforward. “The two bodies form a T-shape rather than being aligned in one straight line,” she says. “The giver approaches the receiver’s genitals from one side or the other. The receiver can then drape [one or both] legs over the giver’s neck or back, or alternatively, place their legs up with their knees against their chest.”
The giving partner then licks over the top of the clitoris (and vulva) and back again. Mintz says that rather than using the tip of the tongue, à la regular oral, the Kivin method involves the whole tongue—you know, really getting all up in there. “This stimulates more of the entire clitoral and vulva area,” she adds.
How Is the Kivin Method Different From Other Kinds of Oral?
This might seem obvious by now, but what makes the Kivin method distinct from traditional oral is the unique positioning of the giver. It offers a whole different kind of stimulation to the receiver, which can be both exciting and pleasurable.
Mintz says one of the reasons this position can be over-the-top satisyfing is because a lot of clitoris-owners report preferring clit stimulation on one side or the other, versus the top or bottom of the clit. “This position capitalizes on that,” she says. “This method may also be especially erotic for those who masturbate with a side-to-side rather than an up-and-down motion on their clitoral hood.” If you’re a side-to-side girlie (gender neutral!), this one’s for you.
Benefits of the Kivin Method
The Kivin method has a boat-load of good things going for it, but the main one is obvious: More intense orgasms!
Still, like anything sexual, people’s tastes vary, says Mintz. So while some may love it, for others, the Kivin method may not feel that different from traditional oral sex, and some folks may not like it at all. The only way to know if it’s for you is to try it out for yourself!
The Kivin method may be extra ideal for those who prefer less intense stimulation during oral. “In this position, the giver can suck, flick, and encircle the clitoris with a little less pressure,” Sparks says.
Plus, because the giver is using their whole tongue, they’re stimulating more surface area and thus, more nerve endings. Access is everything! “The inner labia can be stimulated as well, and that is a highly sensitive area (it is analogous to the shaft of the penis),” Mintz says. “In this position, the giver doesn’t have to move their body to get access to other parts of the vulva.”
5 Expert-Approved Tips for Trying the Kivin Method
1. Communicate with your partner
As helpful as this article may be (*brag*), it isn’t a substitute for real, honest conversations with your partner. Remember, they’re not a mind reader! “This method is going to take some communicating to get into,” Marie says. Talk to whoever has the honor of going down on you these days (or vice versa) about what this method is and why you want to try it (and yes, feel free to send ’em a link to this story).
Also, hi, communication during play is also important. “Expressing whether to go harder or softer, or where the hands should go, can all be a part of learning how to please,” Marie adds. If something feels good (or doesn’t feel good), don’t be afraid to speak up! And if you’re the one going down, check in with your partner during and after to make sure they like what you’re doing and give them a chance to provide some constructive feedback.
2. Take time to find a comfortable position
Figuring out how to make the Kivin method work for you may take some patience—but it’s all part of the fun. “Whether [the receiver] holds their leg up or rests it on their partner’s back, it [may] take some readjusting,” Marie says.
Pro tip: Pillows can be majorly helpful in this process. Sparks suggests popping one under the receiver’s hips for more lift and easier access.
And if you find it’s taking you a while to get in position, don’t stress. Remember, sex doesn’t have to be super serious! We’re all just trying to learn and have the most pleasure possible, and a little trial and error is all part of the game.
3. Get curious
Once you’re in position, it’s time to explore!
“Start out slow[ly] and remember to stimulate the entire vulva, especially the hood, and other areas (e.g., the inner lips) that the tongue can reach,” Mintz says. “Experiment with different tongue motions (up and down, circular, etc.), and with different tongue placements (e.g., all over the hood, directly on the hood, on the labia).”
And, in case we haven’t made this abundantly clear, do NOT be afraid to get all up in there. Now is not the time for polite eating, friends!
4. Bring in some toys
Sparks, a true maven of the sex toy game, adds that tools and toys are perfect for making this position top notch. She recommends adding an insertable vibrator for those who like their oral with a side of internal stim, and/or popping in a butt plug to cover all your erogenous zones. For those who get off on anal play, Sparks adds that incorporating backdoor toys into oral even packs dual-orgasm potential.
5. And speaking of anal…
Guess what? It’s not just vulvas that respond this kind of stimulation. Marie points out that while the Kivin method is usually reserved for cunnilingus, it is totally possible to utilize it for anal play, too. Give it a whirl while licking the perineum (taint) or rimming the anus. What can we say? We’re just chock full of legendary tongue tips today. You’re welcome!
Anyway, all this to say, the Kivin method can be a super fun and accessible way to enhance your oral sexperience, no matter what kind of stimulation you enjoy. Go forth and get down (and, uh, sideways), my friends!
Writer
Gigi Engle is a COSRT-registered, GSRD-accredited sex and relationships psychotherapist, sex coach, sex educator, and writer.
