Venus Cuffs Is Tired of Sex-Positive Spaces. She Wants Actual Sex Spaces.

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When I attended Tease Factory, hosted by award-winning nightlife producer Venus Cuffs in Brooklyn this past summer, I expected the revue to be like any of the other dozen burlesque shows I’ve seen over the years: a little strip tease here, big feathers there, and of course, a final reveal with nipple tassels twirling. Don’t get me wrong, Tease Factory did have those cabaret staples, but what made the show unique—outside of it only featuring Black performers—was Venus.

Stepping out on stage in a classic red dress (think Cameron Diaz in The Mask), Venus kicked off the night singing for the crowd before speaking to them directly, preparing the audience for the entertainment that was about to unfold and encouraging them to embrace their queer and hedonistic fantasies. Later in the evening, when she asked attendees what brought them to the show, their responses were unanimous: Venus. She is the draw. She is everything.

a woman in a red dress

Chad Johnson

But this nightlife star doesn’t just produce burlesque shows—she also hosts dance parties, cabarets, and workshops like her “Sacred Dominance: Intro to Femdom” course, where she empowers women to apply the tenets of female dominance to everyday aspects of life, both in and outside of the bedroom.

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Oh, and she also hosts erotic kink parties rife with spanking and plenty of PG-13 shenanigans, as well as full-on XXX play parties with penetration and more. And on October 29th, she’s producing House of Screams in Brooklyn (which, ahem, you can still grab tickets to!), a sexy horror-themed show guaranteed to sexually delight and fright.

In short, the former professional Dominatrix is constantly expanding, evolving, and creating new environments for Black and brown people to celebrate sex and sexuality—spaces that are both queer and fun.

As Venus notes, kink and BDSM are often considered super intense, uninviting, and serious, especially for people of color, but she doesn’t view it that way. She works to create sex spaces—not just sex-positive spaces, but actual SEX spaces—that show the joy of sex. The community aspects of sex. The healing nature of being surrounded by sex.

We caught up with the brilliant, determined, and stunning nightlife mogul to see how she created her empire, is giving back to the kink community, and is changing the nightlife landscape to be inviting, healing, inclusive, and—of course—filled with sex.

How did you first get into nightlife?

I was a Dominatrix for over a decade and previously owned two dungeons. The first one was just for pro-Doms to rent and take sessions. Then I moved to a second dungeon, blocks away from Barclays Center in the heart of Brooklyn, a prime location. It was a vast warehouse. I had kink furniture everywhere—Saint Andrews crosses, spanking benches, hardpoints for Shibari.

While I threw private kink parties there, I wanted to throw other parties there, too, and people were contacting me about renting the space and throwing all kinds of parties: dancehall parties, poetry readings—and this was all going on in a dungeon with sex furniture everywhere.

And so I asked myself: Why can’t nightlife coexist with sex spaces? Why can’t I merge my love of kink, BDSM, and sex into nightlife?

So, what would merging even look like?

I didn’t have many examples. Even though there are a lot of sex workers in nightlife, many are not out as sex workers. Since there was no blueprint, I was throwing together concepts I hadn’t seen before, like having a BDSM scene in the middle of a dance floor as an activation rather than in some dark room in the back of the venue. I wanted it to be front and center. And when creating a space, I’m not just celebrating “sex positivity.” I’m celebrating sex.

What’s the difference between the two?

I think sex positivity is a great mindset, and I see it sprinkled into a lot of nightlife. But it’s still not really about sex. Maybe someone does a little reveal, making it sex-positive, but that’s not sex. And while these spaces are allegedly places where you can talk openly about sexual themes, it still feels like we can’t. So I’m reminding people—it’s okay that people have sex with each other! When you see a person feeling someone up under their skirt—and she wants it—that is sexy! So sex positivity can mean many things loosely, but for my events, when I say sex, I mean SEX. This is not a watered-down experience. This is going to be a complete celebration of the erotic.

venus cuffs

Courtesy of Venus Cuffs

And what comes with that celebration of the erotic?

Expression! People need sex spaces to express themselves in different ways, to try something new, and to explore their bodies again. I don’t think outsiders understand how people heal in these spaces. They not only find out what they like sexually, they often find their spouse and community.

Can you talk more about the healing aspects of sex spaces?

I was sexually assaulted, and it was weighing on me. Being in very open sexual settings and being a Dominatrix allowed me to regain control over my body. When you are assaulted, one of the things that happens is you play your assault over and over again in your mind. You think about what you could have done to prevent it, even though it’s not your fault. But with kink and BDSM in a sex space, I can tell someone what I want to happen to me. I can say I want to be touched this way. Please don’t pull my hair this way; that triggers me, and so on.

This is not a watered-down experience. This is going to be a complete celebration of the erotic.

In hosting parties, I’ve met a lot of other survivors who’ve heard my story. They see how I’ve worked through my trauma and gotten to where I am now. They know they’re in a space where they are free to exist without worrying that they may be retraumatized. They are surrounded by others who communicate and understand that consent is essential. And it’s a space to have fun; it’s a space to get sexy. But the only way it’s possible is if everyone in the room consents.

a person in a red dress

Chad Johnson

Absolutely, and your events and spaces are very queer and racially diverse. I’d love to hear more about the need for Black and brown, queer, safe sex spaces.

Sex-positive spaces, nightlife, and BDSM communities are not immune to racism. It exists in these spaces, and I’ve experienced it countless times. Many white people don’t understand how Black people historically haven’t had spaces like this. We didn’t have room to explore our sexuality freely. For years, the sexuality of Black people was to be bred and make more slaves for the country.

So it’s tough when Black and brown people finally do explore sex spaces and then experience racism and microaggressions. Black and brown people do not want to explore sex and kink when we feel like we’re on display for someone else for having a BBC, which is Big Black Cock, or for a Black woman, it’s Big Black Ass or Miss Chocolate Mocha, or whatever it is. We need spaces not to be fetishized and just be us. I’m trying to create spaces where this can happen.

I feel like there are even more obstacles, specifically for the Black community, and misconceptions around BDSM and non-monogamy that might hinder access and desire to go to these spaces.

When I used to tell my Black friends I was a Dominatrix, they’d respond, “That’s some white people shit.” When people think of a Dominatrix, they think of a white girl. Just Google “Dominatrix,” they’re all white women with pale skin and dark hair. So, people never assume I’m a Dominatrix. It’s a foreign concept. That’s one side of the coin. It’s foreign, weird, taboo. But the other side is that BDSM may trigger Black people.

The terms “master” and “slave” and how they’re played within BDSM can trigger a Black person. Another potentially triggering element is shackles or cuffs, my last name. So when people see Black folks engaging in BDSM, people often think we’re indulging in something that somehow hurts Black people. This is all incredibly valid and stops Black people from exploring.

That, and many people think it’s all super intense, like you show up in a room and are going to get kicked in the balls. It’s not seen as something you can explore in a sexy, fun way. It’s seen as foreplay that hurts and is freakish—not something that can lead to pleasure or joy with the people we love or find attractive. BDSM is still very misunderstood and relatively new to the mainstream, despite being around for a long time. Still, there are a lot of people that are just finding out about it, who are still learning about it. And they have no idea that this can be fun and sexy. They don’t know you can build communities around kink and meet new partners and friends.

So, tell me about House of Screams, which is happening shortly, right?

Yes, House of Screams at the Red Pavillion in Brooklyn is happening on October 29th. It’s a BDSM and horror-themed seated show with strong elements, burlesque, blood, rope suspension, needle play, and Club Kid performances. There’s no way you’ll leave the Red Pavillion without screaming at LEAST once.

And after that? Big picture? What’s next for Venus?

Expanding! I want bigger event spaces and am looking to open up some venues. And yeah, to keep laughing and enjoying actual SEX spaces.

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