After decades of sexual tension, controversy, and a conversation about tampons that I’ll truly never recover from, Charles and Camilla have finally made it to Buckingham Palace. Yep, these horny royals are being officially being crowned King and Queen, and the time has come to look back at how they got here! The answer: Several cheating scandals and a wedding that the late Queen Elizabeth II didn’t seem thrilled about attending, lol. But let’s start at the beginning…a fated day in 1970 England when Charles and Camilla first laid eyes on each other during England’s most erotic activity: polo.
Catch Up With the Royals 👑
1970
Camilla ends her relationship with retired British Army officer Andrew Parker Bowles. And then he starts dating Princess Anne, but that’s a story for another time. “Another time” being in, like, two paragraphs after we all stare at this picture of Andrew Parker Bowles sitting atop a magnificent steed:
Anyway, amid breaking things off with Andrew, Camilla meets Charles and they start chilling at polo matches, THE hottest spot to be if you’re a rich royal. In her biography Diana, Sarah Bradford writes that Camilla “was in love with Andrew Parker Bowles, with whom she’d been having an on-and-off affair since 1967” and claims that her relationship with Charles was actually her way of getting back at Andrew for hooking up with Anne. As a friend/source put it: “Princess Anne was in love with Parker Bowles, Camilla was in love with Andrew, Charles was in love with Camilla, Camilla was having some of it but she was also potty about Andrew—all this intrigue was going on.”
Princess Anne in 1970, a vibe.
Meanwhile, biographer Penny Junor wrote, “So when [Camilla] was introduced to Charles and he thought she was pretty special…he thought she was a bit of alright and she thought, Andrew is at the moment off with Princess Anne, you know her brother, teach Andrew a lesson. So she had a fling with Charles.”
1972
Charles joins the navy and ends his relationship with Camilla. Obviously (and as fans of The Crown know), there’s a lot of speculation that the royals wanted Charles to end his relationship with Camilla, and sending him off to the navy was their way of doing so. Here they are that same year, chilling—where else?—at a polo match:
1973
Surprise! Camilla and Andrew get back together, get engaged in March, and then get married in July. Awk times for both Anne and Charles, tbh.
1979
Charles and Camilla are spotted hanging out at—you guessed it—a polo match. Feel free to read into their vibes:
1981
After starting to date in 1980, Charles marries Princess Diana on July 29, 1981.
But he’s clearly still holding a candle for Camilla. Sarah Bradford claims in her biography that during a party a few years prior in 1980, “the physical passion of Charles for Camilla was obvious to everyone” and apparently they were seen “kissing passionately.”
1986
While Charles and Camilla never stopped having vibes, this is when they started their full-blown affair per royal biographer Andrew Morton in Diana: Her True Story—In Her Own Words.
1989
Diana reportedly confronts Camilla about her affair with Charles at Camilla’s sister’s 40th birthday. Andrew Morton reports on the moment in his book and claims Diana said, “I know what’s going on between you and Charles and I just want you to know that.” Camilla reportedly responded with, “You’ve got everything you ever wanted. You’ve got all the men in the world fall in love with you and you’ve got two beautiful children, what more do you want?” and Diana replied “I want my husband.”
😶
1992
Charles and Diana separate in December, and if you revisit the New York Times’ old reporting around this time, it’s preeetty telling. In an article published December 10, 1992, the paper mentions “unconfirmed reports” that Charles was “closer to Camilla Parker Bowles, an old girlfriend, than to his wife” and yet the palace “took pains” to emphasize there was no “third party” involved.
1993
Tampongate occurs, a harrowing time in which Charles and Camilla’s “sexy” telephone call (recorded in 1989) leaks. Here’s a snippet, courtesy of Esquire, but please be forwarded you cannot un-see this:
CHARLES: Oh stop! I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out . . .
CAMILLA: Oh!
CHARLES: Particularly in and out.
CAMILLA: Oh, that’s just what I need at the moment.
CHARLES: Is it?
CHARLES: Oh, God. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!
CAMILLA: (laughing) What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers.
CHARLES: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)
CAMILLA: You are a complete idiot! (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea
🙁
1994
Camilla files for divorce from Andrew! This same year, Charles admits his infidelity in a TV interview where he’s asked directly if he tried to be “faithful and honorable” when he married Diana, and he says, “Yes, absolutely.” However, he’s then asked, “And you were?” and replied, “Yes, until it became irretrievably broken down, us both having tried.”
1995
Diana sits down for an interview with BBC’s Panorama, which—it should be noted—was obtained unethically and mentions “three people in [her] marriage.” Meanwhile, Camilla’s divorce goes through and the New York Times’ reporting of it is truly something:
“The woman widely believed to have been the mistress of Prince Charles on and off for nearly 25 years is to be divorced from her husband, the couple’s lawyers announced today.”
1996
Charles and Diana divorce. Her lawyer, Anthony Julius gives a statement to BBC News saying, “It was an exceptionally difficult decision and one which the Princess of Wales has taken with immense sadness and regret.”
Around this time, Charles reportedly hires public relations expert Mark Bolland to rehab his and Camilla’s reputation. Good luck!
1999
Two years after the tragic death of Princess Diana, Charles and Camilla make their first official appearance as a couple at The Ritz Hotel.
2000
Camilla starts accompanying Charles to official events:
And then…
2001
They share their first public kiss. Although, honestly, at this point, their tampon convo was living in our collective conscious rent free, so.
2005
Charles and Camilla get engaged in February and get married just a few months later in April. The Queen doesn’t show up to the wedding but does attend the blessing. Though at the time, the New York Times reports she “did not appear to be thrilled” and “seemed to be making a concerted effort not to stand next to them on the front steps.”
Lol.
2022
Flash-forward several decades of royal engagements and posh couple vibes, and Charles officially becomes King in September—while Camilla becomes Queen Consort.
Also this year—in December, to be exact!—the duo reveal their first Christmas card as King and Queen! Witness:
2023
Charles and Camilla pretty much spend the first half of the year preparing for the coronation and getting a fancy new portrait taken:
We also find out that Camilla is still super close to her ex Andrew Parker Bowles and that he’ll have a prime spot at the event! As a friend put it to The Telegraph, “They are joined at the hip. He arranges so much for her. They have lunch together the whole time. He’s right in there. He was always, and still is, Camilla’s co-conspirator.”
Plus, if there was is question about King Charles’ ~feelings~ about Camilla’s title, let it be known that in May he issues a Royal Warrant to change his wife’s title from “Camilla, the Queen Consort” to “Queen Camilla” when after is crowned at Westminster Abbey on the sixth of that month.
Oh, and the Royal Warrant reportedly states that the title change should be reflected “in every prayer for the Royal Family contained in any form of service authorized for use in the Church of England.” No thoughts, just 🤯🤯🤯.
Of course, 2023 isn’t without drama for Charles and Camilla thanks to Prince Harry publishing Spare, in which he recalls begging his father not to marry the “other woman” because he and Prince William worried she’d be a “wicked stepmother.”
2024
At the top of the year, Buckingham Palace revealed that King Charles was diagnosed with prostate cancer. “During The King’s recent hospital procedure for benign prostate enlargement, a separate issue of concern was noted. Subsequent diagnostic tests have identified a form of cancer,” the statement said. “His Majesty has today commenced a schedule of regular treatments, during which time he has been advised by doctors to postpone public-facing duties. Throughout this period, His Majesty will continue to undertake State business and official paperwork as usual.”
King Charles III and Queen Camilla leave the London Clinic on January 29, 2024.
Following his diagnosis, Camilla gave a public update during a charity event at Salisbury Cathedral on February 8. According to Daily Mail‘s royal reporter Rebecca English, Camilla said, “He is doing extremely well under the circumstances. He is very touched by all of the letters and messages the public have been sending from everywhere. That’s very cheering.”
The pair have also attended Sunday Church on multiple occasions in Norfolk.
Aaaaand that’s pretty much all we know for now, but def make sure to check back in for more updates on these two. 👀