Author of Unf*ck Your Mind shares how to be the perfect mother in a life of chaos and instability.
By Sarshar Hosseinnia
“Every single generation should be parenting differently and better than the one before it,” shares Janna Johnson, author of Unf*ck Your Mind: Shatter Your Limiting Beliefs To Become Who You Were Meant To Be. “If each generation breaks their invisible chains instead of passing them down we will have a society free of pain.”
For Johnson, her own transformation took place after she left her husband of 14 years after years of betrayal and toxicity. In a relationship that also saw the Mindset Coach and Holistic Nutritionist overcome Lyme disease, it was her willingness {to attempt} to make the marriage work that was detrimental to the long-term prosperity of her kids. Eventually her realization that the toxicity of them living in that reality outweighed Johnson’s mantra of forgiveness was enough for Johnson to say “enough is enough.”
“I do feel that I’ve shown my kids that a person can change,” she begins, “I’ve also shown my kids what it’s like to live with limiting beliefs and also without them. And, while I’ve also shown them to give love a second chance, they now know that a person isn’t the same once they’ve done the healing.”
Despite admitting that forgiving her ex’s narcissistic tendencies was easy, Johnson insists that the forgiveness was more for herself than anything else, even lamenting putting her kids through the ordeal. Learning forgiveness as well as forgiving anyone else who hurt her along the way, Johnson came to the appreciation that when one forgives, they’re given their power back, which in-turn allows for any control from the other person to be released.
“My kids get to see me happy now, which they wouldn’t have done if I didn’t get out of that toxic relationship … and we owe it to them to see that.” She also owed it to herself to discover love again – not just with another, but first with herself. “My relationship changed significantly with my kids when I did the healing. It’s tough to initially face yourself and your own limitations, but if you don’t put out the fires you have, they’ll remain burning for your kids.”
Wanting to evolve and be a better mom meant Johnson needed to learn from her kids. And one way of doing that was to chronicle her journey with both emotional and physical illness, releasing the #1 bestselling autobiography Unf*ck Your Mind: Shatter Your Limiting Beliefs To Become Who You Were Meant To Be. The book takes a deep dive into Johnson’s crossover into abundance and a life of purpose. In chapter 13, she highlights the urgency for parents to ‘break the invisible chains handed down to them’ in order to prevent a domino effect for their kids. Here are the main takeaways:
IT’S OKAY TO BE EMOTIONAL
“We have to make sure to let our kids know it’s okay to be sad or mad,” Johnson points out. “Their feelings are valid, and they need to feel them. Create a safe space for them to feel and to share. One of the worst things a parent can do when their kid is hurting is to tell them they shouldn’t feel that way. They have to deal with enough crap as it is, so they absolutely need to be seen, heard, and validated.”
LEARN FROM YOUR KIDS
“As a parent remember that you do not know everything, and your experience growing up was in a different time and age,” Johnson starts out. “Therefore be open to the idea that you can learn from your kids. Nothing makes my kids feel more empowered and confident than when they have taught me something. They can teach us so much if we let them, because of their ability to soak up information like sponges … the moment you think you know it all is the moment you stop learning.”
KIDS CAN’T AVOID ENDURING REAL WORLD ATROCITIES
Johnson suggests it would be a great disservice if kids are completely protected from all of the global atrocities, just like it was while she was willing to remain in a toxic relationship just to shelter her kids. “Our kids should be able to grow into strong, resilient, empathetic humans, and therefore must be allowed to experience real-world problems in order to evolve,” she points out.
LEAD WITH EMPATHY
“One of the best gifts we can give ourselves and our kids is empathy,” Johnson shares. “Empathy is one of the best emotions a human can have and give. Empathy does not discriminate based on whether someone thinks their emotions are invalid, nor does it need agreement or understanding. It’s simply given.”
She continues: “I remember the day I broke down that wall and let my guard down. My kids showed up for me! Their affection and words of affirmation was the exact medicine for my soul. Showing them the importance of a human aspect made me realize that they felt good making me feel better.”
Unf*ck Your Mind: Shatter Your Limiting Beliefs to Become Who You Were Meant to Be is available at the following link, while Janna Johnson’s inspirational journey can be followed across her social media platforms.
