A Sex Expert Unwraps Secrets to Igniting Intimacy This Holiday Season

The lure of lazing around in fleece leggings and an oversize sweatshirt is pretty strong this time of year. But prioritizing sex should always be on our wellness to-do lists.

One reason is the pleasure, of course, but sex can offer other benefits too: stress relief, improved sleep, elevated mood, even increased immunity. And who couldn’t use those perks, especially this time of year?

Also, sex is bound to help you maintain intimacy with your partner during this hectic, distracting time of year. “Making sure we continue to make time for our partners and keep the pleasure up is very important in preserving bonds and keeping overall relationship satisfaction intact,” says Gigi Engle, a COSRT-registered, GSRD-accredited sex and relationships psychotherapist, sex coach, sex educator, and SKYN^® sex expert.

So to get in the mood amid the busy schedules and massive to-do lists, we suggest you look to the things you love about the season for inspiration. Naturally, we have a few suggestions below.

Heat is your seasonal BFF.

Warmth added to sex in wintertime goes a long way. Whether that means building a fire, lighting lots of candles, using extra blankets, or creating your own heat. Using a long-lasting lube allows you to really take advantage of the energy your bodies produce. “My favorite is SKYN Naturally Endless, which is long-lasting, mess-free, and compatible with all personal massagers given its water-based formula,” Engle says.

Speaking of massagers: Warming up any accessories before placing them on (or in) your partner’s body can set you both up for arousal. And it’s easy to heat up your equipment (not that equipment…well, actually, that equipment too…). “If your sex toys are waterproof or splash-proof, you can simply run them under some warm water in the sink. This gets them to the perfect temperature,” Engle says.

Play with new toys.

If you haven’t heard, sex toys can really rev up the enjoyment for both parties. If you and your partner have yet to bring them into the bedroom, it’s best to broach the subject outside first.

“Say something like, ‘I was reading about how sex personal massagers are a great way for couples with great sexual chemistry to amp things up in the bedroom. Wanna give it a try?'” Engle says. “It’s a non-threatening way to put the idea out there and gauge your partner’s interest.”

A discreet personal massager like the SKYN Vibes is a great choice for couples to begin exploring each other’s erogenous zones—its easy to use and experiment with. Then there’s the SKYN Dual Ring, which lets you creatively take foreplay and intercourse to new heights thanks to its functionality. Whatever you choose, be sure to use it with a long-lusting lube, like SKYN Naturally Endless, for a more comfortable and pleasurable experience.

December is for dressing up.

Go all-out getting gussied up for your next hot date, because it’s always easier to get sexy when you’re feeling sexy. (Hey, between the holiday get-togethers and the New Year’s Eve parties, it’s actually pretty normal to be dressed to the nines anytime in December.)

So break out the special-occasion undies, slip on a slinky dress, and step into a pair of stilettos. Even if you’re topping it all off with a wool coat when your rideshare arrives, you and your partner will both mark the effort you put in, which will boost your self-confidence—and there’s no better foreplay than that.

Love the magic of surprises.

The holidays were full of awe when you were kids. Bring some of that enchantment to your sex life by giving your partner unexpected delights. “As long as it’s welcome, the element of surprise can really add intrigue to a couple’s sex life,” Engle says.

Lingerie, for instance, is extra-enticing when found under a slouchy sweater and baggy jeans. Sexy photos are especially hot when they show up in your partner’s Advent calendar. And who says adults can’t receive toys? Personal massagers, lubes, and condoms make for delightfully diverting stocking stuffers. (Hint: SKYN condoms are non-latex and super-soft, and their Naturally Endless lube is mess-free.)

Hot drinks complement all winter activities.

Hot beverages warm you up from the inside, allowing you to shed some layers of clothing without catching a chill—but they’re also perfect for playing around with different sensations in the bedroom.

“Mint tea is a wintertime favorite, and it can add a great layer to oral sex,” Engle says. “The peppermint is tingly, but not so intense as to cause irritation. Try having a cup before getting busy. Tea also has the added benefit of calming down the body, which is essential for staying present during sex.”

You love cozy comforts.

Put your body heat to good use! Focus on sex positions that keep you close to your partner, so you can both stay warm while you get hot.

Spooning sex is great in winter and can take on a whole new sensation with SKYN Selection condoms, which offers a variety of styles that can enhance whatever position you choose. Consider the rocking horse, in which one partner sits in the other’s lap, facing each other, and you rock back and forth. It makes for a lovely slow burn toward climax that is enhanced by adding a long-lasting lube.

Other full-body-contact options include the lover’s embrace, which is missionary but on its side, and laying-down doggy, which is basically like the fan favorite, except instead of being on your knees, you’re both laying down flat to achieve that extra contact. Adding a personal massager, such as SKYN Dual Ring, to any of these positions can add a different dimension of pleasure.