Sex in the shower seems like it’d be super sexy, but then when you actually get in there, it can be….kind of awkward and uncomfortable?! How do you get body parts where they need to go? Why is it not perfectly choreographed like it looks on TV? What shower sex positions actually feel good and won’t make you slip and fall? And WTF are you supposed to hold on to?!
Fear not, these shower sex positions and expert tips will help you have the steamy sex you want, while hopefully avoiding both awkwardness and slipping to an embarrassing injury. Figuring out the aquatic physics of shower sex is absolutely worth it because there is plenty of fun to be had in a warm shower or tub. “Shower sex is a fantastic way to increase and enhance erotic intimacy,” says AASECT-certified sex and relationships therapist Duewa “Kaya” Spicer, MSW, LCSW, CCATP, CST.
Shower sex is great for a pre-work quickie, a private escape from roommates, and an intimate way to connect with your partner at the end of a day. No matter what you’re doing in there, make sure you’re appreciating each other and the experience. “There’s a lot more to shower sex than just the hot, steamy wetness,” says Spicer. “Sex is a sensory experience. Take your time exploring your lover’s body with different parts of your body. Paying attention to what you see, feel, and smell can increase arousal and intensity.”
Below, we unpack the mysteries of shower sex that’s both steamy and safe with these expert-approved tips. Time to get wet—in the best way possible.
Our Expert-Approved Shower Sex Tips and Tricks
1. Use the Right Lube
Even though it’s a shower, you still need lube. “The water from the shower can hinder the body’s natural lubrication. Adding a non-water-soluble lube can help,” says somatic sex educator Kiana Reeves, Foria’s chief education officer. Reeves recommends oil-based or silicone-based lubes. “Be sure to check if they’re compatible with condoms or any other sex toys you’re planning to use!”
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2. Prep Your Space Beforehand
Have the supplies you’ll need at the ready. That includes your lube, waterproof toys and items for safety, like a non-slip mat. If you don’t have a bath mat, you can DIY it. “For extra traction, you can place a hand towel or washcloth on the floor of your shower or edges of your bathtub to make those surfaces less slippery,” says Reeves. And remember that showers don’t magically protect you from STIs and pregnancy. “Keep condoms and protection nearby,” says Spicer. “Be sure to put the condom on away from the stream of water and check it is secure before engaging with your lover.”
3. Keep It Clean
A clean shower is obviously good aesthetics-wise, but it’s also a safety thing. “When using a shower chair or a bench, be sure to clean first to decrease the risk of harmful bacteria entering the vagina and causing infection,” says Spicer.
4. Mind the Temp
“Some like it hot, and others… well, not so much,” says Spicer. “Make sure the water temperature is comfortable for everyone involved. Heat the shower by running the water hot for a few minutes before turning it down and getting in.” And try to avoid the one-person-freezing scenario. “Rotate positions with your partner so no one gets cold if you have limited water spray area,” says Reeves. A portable bathroom heater to warm the room helps too.
5. Declutter
Clear the space of your 80 billion bottles of product to avoid a shampoo avalanche. “Keep your shower sex ready with keeping only what you *need* in the shower,” says JC Ways, sex coach at Sex Toy Collective. “Also, keep the items you use on a corner shelving system away from where you like to place feet, hands, etc. during shower sex.”
6. Use the Shower as a Sex Enhancer
“Full-on sex in the shower, not your jam? Try using the shower for foreplay or after-play,” says Spicer. “Kissing, caressing, and bathing each other can be a fantastic way to increase intimacy and closeness.”
Create your shower scene with one of these wet and/or wild positions.
10 Best Shower Sex Positions to Try Tonight
1. The Slow Drip
The receiving partner puts their hands against the wall and bends over slightly so the penetrating partner can enter with a penis or strap-on, festooned with a waterproof cock ring. “They’ll love seeing the hot water run down your back and body, and you can adjust the ring to hit your sweet spot,” says Liv Arnold, erotic rom com writer.
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2. The Mountain
Sit down, bend your knees and inch toward each other à la crab walk. If you have a removable shower head, point it at your clit. If you have a regular rain shower, try a waterproof vibrator wand. It’s also a good opportunity for couples where both partners have vaginas to bust out a new double dildo, says Nina Nguyen, a sex and LGBTQ+ expert, speaker, and cofounder of Fraulila.de, a German LGBTQ+ sex and relationships platform. “A dab of lube under the bottom ensures the right dynamics.” To do it, slide your booty on the lube, slip ‘n slide style, while you rock back and forth against the floor. (Just make sure you clean it up before standing back up.)
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3. The Waterwheels
“Shower sex can be great for wheelchair users. If you have a shower that accommodates your chair or a shower stool, the seated position can be great for giving oral sex to a partner or fingering them!” says Rebecca Blanton, aka Auntie Vice, a sex educator and co-host of the Fat Chicks on Top podcast. You can also torture/please each other with a waterproof vibrator—they’re magic on vulvas (obvs) but some penis-havers like one pressed against the underside of their shaft or their perineum.
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4. The Clean and Jerk
If you’re very different heights or your space is very small, the easiest way to make something happen is to stick to hand jobs. Start by soaping each other up, then fill your hands with silicone lube and start stroking each other, using the other hand to squeeze their butt or rub their chest. Clean-up is easy too—just wash off and go.
5. The Slip-n-Slide
Bring your bath toys in with you for slippery-slide-y fun. Penis havers get a masturbation sleeve, vagina holders a waterproof vibe. Smooch under the steamy downpour, and instead of using your toys on yourselves, which you can do during any old shower, use them on each other. If you really want to stay on theme, invest in an I Rub My Duckie.
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6. The Super Soaker
Sometimes, trying to hold a weird position can get in the way of you actually having an orgasm. The easiest fix? Put a handheld shower head into service by directing the stream between your legs as your partner enters you standing. The water won’t work the same magic on their penis or strap-on as it does on you, but they so won’t be complaining.
7. Standing Missionary
“You’ll likely struggle to lie down unless you’re lucky enough to have an oversize shower. If you do, consider a padded bathmat and inflatable tub pillows for comfort,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist for Astroglide. “If lying down isn’t an option, try a modified standing-missionary position: Stand facing one another and have one partner bend their leg and place their foot on the side of the tub or on a shower stool so that you can get even closer.”
8. Safety Dog
If you’re feeling a rear entry type situation, don’t go for what look like the obvious handholds. “Do not hold onto the towel bar or faucets, as the weight of your bodies and their movement can tear these fixtures right out of the tiled wall. Instead, use the side of the tub for support or press your entire upper body up against the wall for added stability,” says O’Reilly.
9. Cowgirl at Sea
For more stability in a slippery shower, just your ass down. “Try a sitting position. This position allows for great penetration, and manual genital and breast stimulation. It also lessens the risk of slip and fall. You can sit facing each other or with one person’s back against the other’s chest,” says Shamrya Howard, a sexologist and relationship therapist.
10. Liquid Lunch
If penetration is just too awkward, you can get better access by just going for your partner’s junk with hand or mouth. “I like face-to-face for oral and manual play with your partner. One of you is standing, and the other can be on their knees or sitting on the stool” says Stubbs.
